Consolation
I wasn't trying to win anything. After years of making an effort to convert straight boys and one in particular I
had resigned myself to permanent friendship status with no benefits. Random hook ups with guys from the
Internet every few months was as close to having a relationship that I had ever gotten. I couldn't seem to find
another gay guy who attracted me the way most straight men did. Put thirty men in a room, twenty-nine gay
and one straight, and I would walk directly to the straight guy without batting an eye. It wasn't that there was
any trait that I saw as particularly straight, because I met countless gay guys who most people would assume
were straight but I knew were gay, and many straight guys who most people would assume were gay, but
I knew were straight. For me, there was something in the eyes and the way a man looked at me. Given that
fact, I was attracted to the boys who were obviously not attracted to me. It was a cycle that I promised to stop
but continued anyway. I went around collecting straight friends and breaking my heart over and over again. I
vowed college would be different.

David Davies was one of the first guys I met on campus. He
was, in a word, a hunk. I first noticed him in the line across
from me during registration and then I saw him on the elevator in
my residence hall. It was just us so I tried not to make him feel
uncomfortable, but my eyes carefully drank in every inch of his 6
foot 2 frame. I started with his face. He had high cheek bones,
pouty pink lips, and eyes the color of turquoise. I glanced at
his hair, midnight black and slicked back, then I was pulled to
his eyes, I wanted to step closer and get a better look but I'd
never been that forward, so I let my eyes travel down his body.
He had a nicely tanned complexion, accentuated by the white tank
top he had on that was clinging to every curve of his body and
not leaving much to the imagination. He had broad shoulders,
amazing arms, rather large nipples and good muscle definition. My
eyes passed over his baggy black shorts quickly because they
weren't giving up any kind of details. His knees were nothing to
talk about, but his calves were sexy and the flip-flops on his
feet revealed nice feet that were well groomed for a man. I
wasn't in to sucking toes, but I would have sucked his toes if he
asked. Then my eyes drifted back to his face, up to his eyes and
he was looking at me.

He extended his hand, "Hi, I'm David."

He couldn't have missed the way I was checking him out so
his introduction made me think I might have a chance with him. I
grabbed his hand. "I'm Cali."

"Cali?"

"Well my real name is Joseph but everyone calls me Cali."

"Why Cali?"

I took a step back and gestured towards myself. "Isn't it
obvious?"

He gave me the once over and smiled, "I guess you do have
that Californian look. Are you from there?"

"I grew up right outside of Los Angeles, but my family moved
to Carlton three years ago."

"Let me guess, you didn't get the nickname Cali until you
moved here?"

I giggled like an idiot. "Something like that."

"So which is better, Illinois or California?" The elevator
opened on his floor. He stopped with one foot inside the elevator
and the other on the tile floor. "So which is it?" He smiled at
me and I lost my voice. "This elevator isn't going to go anywhere
until you tell me."

I managed to mumble, "California, hands down."

"What kind of friends did you have in high school? You need
to hang out with me because you obviously haven't seen what
Carlton has to offer." He stepped out the elevator. "See you
around, Cali."

The elevator door closed and I leaned against the inside and
tried to catch my breath. David was cute and I had that familiar
knot in my stomach that I always got when I met someone worthy of
being a star in my fantasies. I wanted to know his last name and
his middle name and his life story. I imagined that everything
about him had to be cute.

David disappeared for the next week and a half. I kept an
eye out for him every time I left my room and I even pushed his
floor number whenever I was alone on the elevator, in the hopes
that the elevator would stop and the doors would open and he
would be standing there. I had a few friends already because of
where the school was, but I didn't want my old friends, I wanted
to make new friends and David was at the top of my list.

One day I decided to give myself a few more days to run in
to him before I went to his floor and tried to find him. I got on
the elevator the next day and someone yelled for me to hold the
elevator and wouldn't you know it, David came running in with two
boxes of pizza. Another guy ran in close behind him. The other
guy had a bag in his hand. I gave the guy a quick once over. He
was okay but he wasn't my type and he had the misfortune of
standing next to David who would make a lot of attractive guys
look a little less attractive if they stood right next to him.
David nodded at me and I half nodded back, but mostly, I stared.

"Don't you remember me?" he asked.

"Yeah, you're David."

He grinned. "And you're Cali." He looked over at the guy
next to him. "Doug this is Cali, Cali this is my roommate Doug."
Doug and I shook hands but the ground didn't move or anything.
"So what's up?"

I smiled at David. "Not much. I'm thinking about dropping a
class."

"Already?"

"Yeah."

"Which one?"

"My Intro to Bio. I have Professor Swann and every
upperclassman I've met has told me to run like the wind."

"Yeah, you don't want him. I hear he suckers people in with
an easy looking syllabus and an easy first test and then he turns
in to Mr. Hyde and tries to work the hell out of you with a lot
of material that's not on the syllabus."

"That's what I heard too so I'm going to switch to one of
the other intros. What about you? What's up?"

"Not much. About to eat some dinner. Have you eaten yet?"

"No."

"You should come eat with us."

"Okay." We got off on their floor. Their room was the first
door once you reached the carpet. I walked in and was surprised
by how clean it was and how small it was. The thought of sharing
an area that tiny with someone else was horrible and I was happy
I had requested a single. After visiting the residence halls the
year before I knew doubles only came in two sizes, extra large or
small. I didn't want to take my chances with getting a small
double so I opted for the privacy of a single.

David and I sat on his bed and ate and Doug sat on a bean
bag. I wasn't aware that I was staring at David until David
started blushing and asked, "Do I have something stuck in my
teeth?"

"No. I just zoned out."

"David has that effect on gay guys," Doug said. I felt like
a deer caught in the headlights of a big rig, only my condition
was more like the impending dread of becoming roadkill. I tried
to move the slice of pizza I had in my hand towards my mouth but
I missed my mouth and ended up hitting my chin. I sat the slice
down and rubbed the grease off my face. Doug reached out and
touched my knee, "Hey, I wasn't trying to embarrass you."

"Am I that obvious?"

David laughed. "Relax, I'm use to people staring at me. It's
just funny that guys do it more than women, and don't get me
started on Doug."

Doug punched David on his leg. "You like it when I stare at
you, you pompous jerk." They laughed so I laughed with them and
thought about leaving the subject alone. Unfortunately, Doug
wasn't done with me yet. We stopped laughing and an uncomfortable
silence stretched out across the room and amplified every sound
to the point were I was holding my breath because I was afraid of
breathing life back in to the room. Doug made a long exaggerated
sigh and revived the subject I hoped would wither in the silence
and die. "We knew you were gay because I asked around."

"But I've never met you before."

"I know. David pointed you out to me and I thought you were
cute so I did a little research. I hear you weren't exactly
secretive about it when you were in high school."

"Who told you that?"

"Drake Wells. I believe you know him."

My throat was suddenly plugged with a lump the size of New
Mexico. Drake Wells was my fuck buddy for lack of a better term.
He was so far in the closet when we first met that I thought I
would never be able to get him to see what was obvious to me. He
was my guide for my first day of classes and he seemed miserable
being stuck with me. Things only got worse during lunch when I
revealed that I was pretty sure I was gay but I hadn't done
anything with anyone, male or female. I wasn't ashamed of it. I
knew I was gay as soon as I saw Michael McHenry take off his
shirt during gym and I got so distracted that I walked in to a
wall. While the entire scene was embarrassing, the outcome was
favorable. I told my friends I was madly in love with him and
they laughed because they already knew. Hiding my feelings was
never my strong suit. I made an effort not to let my eyes light
up when an attractive guy walked by but I couldn't help it. My
reaction to certain guys was physical and obvious in a way that
even the slowest of guys was able to pick up what was happening.
Every straight guy who I ever had a crush on knew way before I
told him.

The students at my school in California didn't seem to mind
my proclaimed homosexuality and they didn't question my lack of
sexual experience, but the students in Carlton were different.
The students in Carlton were quick to ask me how I could be
certain without trying anything with anyone. Doors opened up that
I didn't even know were there. Girls offered to have sex with me
so I could be sure and a few guys offered to let me give them a
blowjob. I took a few of the guys up on their indecent proposals
because I was tired of not having any experience and I had my
pick of closeted guys who wanted to have a good time. The offers
came in faster than I expected. I told Drake I was gay during
lunch and by the end of the day three guys had hinted at being
able to help me decide for sure and offered their services.
Drake, however, was not one of those guys. Drake was an asshole
to me for two years and then he was suddenly overly nice to me
when our senior year began. We became tentative friends and that
led to us messing around with each other. He threatened to kill
me after the first time, but he didn't have anyone else to mess
around with so he apologized a few days later and begged for a
chance to hook up again. He was cute, but definitely not the man
of my dreams and he was only interested in having sex which was
fine when we were in high school, but I wanted something more
substantial and with someone who wanted to be with me, not simply
because I was a guy, but because they genuinely liked me. Drake
wasn't too upset when I told him we should part ways. He was
planning on moving in with his girlfriend and he didn't want to
lie about where he was going. I actually helped them move in to a
small apartment near campus. I thought it would be weird seeing
him around all the time, but after spotting David in line that
first day, I was sufficiently distracted when I bumped in to
Drake that afternoon. I'd seen him several times since I arrived
on campus and he was in one of my classes but we just smiled at
each other and said hello. His girlfriend was a different story.
I didn't give two shits about his girlfriend and the way she
ignored me when she saw me on campus let me know she wasn't too
fond of me either. She would glare at me until she was close
enough to speak and then she would look away and try to pretend
she was didn't see me.

"How did you know I knew Drake?"

"David and I saw the two of you talking a few days ago, so I
asked Drake about you. He's my cousin."

"Oh." I took a sip of my drink. "So what did he say about
me?" I took a big chug.

"He knew you from high school. You were gay and always
hitting on him."

The drink went down the wrong pipe and I hacked as I tried
to keep from choking. "What?"

"He told me you were cool though and you knew when to back
off."

"Yeah, I knew when to back off."

Doug eyed me for a moment. "You're lucky you were dealing
with Drake, because I wouldn't have let you slip through my
fingers. I would have known exactly what to do with you." He
licked his lips. "I would have grabbed on and taken you for a
ride you wouldn't forget."

"Doug!" David shouted. I was too busy blushing profusely to
say anything. Doug leaned back in his beanbag and I noticed him
suggestively spread his legs and I found myself wondering what he
had between them.

"What? I was just giving him a compliment."

"You were shamelessly hitting on him."

"He's a big boy. He can take it." Doug looked directly at
me. "You can take it? Can't you, Cali?".....

This story is included in a short story collection. Read the rest of this story at Amazon.com.

Take me to Bed

by LT Ville